I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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