Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
