I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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