Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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