You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
