listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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