Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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