i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
