How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think my vagina is haunted
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What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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