I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
