I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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