but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
