The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
