Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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