Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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