But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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