i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
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He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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