this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
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She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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