I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
