Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
