I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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