Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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