i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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