What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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