I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
