Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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