I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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