I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
