he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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