Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
