no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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