Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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