More tranny stories later!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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