And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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