Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
