Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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