Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Welp...herpes.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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