On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How drunk are you?