Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?