can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.