My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
