I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
