so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we should paint friendship bongs
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