It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
