Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
