I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
