1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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