The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
