you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
