batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize