I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
