I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
