what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
