8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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