i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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