Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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