He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
