You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
40s are totally the cure
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
