No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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