haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
