she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
