i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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