It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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